Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Paleo tortillas are a lie, and Clay Aiken is running for Congress.

Let someone else worry about world peace. I've got bigger fish to fry. Clearly.

Item one on today's agenda: Paleo tortillas. They are really gross. I know I've mentioned low-carb, primal-type dieting before on this blog. It's a bandwagon I've ridden with pleasure, and it's also a wagon I've fallen -and occasionally jumped- off of with an equal amount of guilty pleasure. Because while in my heart of hearts I fully believe it's one of the healthiest ways you can eat, sometimes I just want bread. And peanut butter M&Ms. And bread. And pasta. Is it glaringly obvious yet that I'm not exactly following a diet right now?? Unless you consider the "I'm pregnant and gaining weight anyway so don't call me out on my carbs cause I want 'em really bad" mentality a diet, then no. I'm not currently following a plan. 

The hubby, on the other hand, apparently doesn't think it's "cool" to gain "sympathy weight." Psh. Whatever. So he's currently doing a very slightly modified paleo diet, which is kind of like primal but a little more restrictive. (Personally I think taking away bread and M&Ms and pasta is restrictive enough, but that hubby...he's a little braver than I am.)  

As a good wife,  I'm doing my best to play Robin to his Batman (you know, supporting his endeavors but totally not being a hero).  So I've been combing Pinterest for dinner recipes that fit his eating bill. I meal a day...NBD, I can do that.  But night after night of similar meat/veggie meals can tend to get a wee bit tedious.  And by wee bit, I actually mean a lot. A couple of days ago though, viola! I discovered a recipe for "paleo tortillas!" The picture made them look amazeballs: light and fluffy while still being sturdy enough to do the job. The ingredients list sounded promising: lime juice? Cumin? Mmm. I might have drooled a little bit imagining a fresh batch of those tortillas piled high with spicy ground turkey with all the fixin's. And last night I attempted to make that fantasy a reality. And it sucked. My paleo "tortillas" were like very thin, very fragile paleo crepes. Definitely not capable of acting as heavenly little fried vehicles for taco goodness. And sadly, what they lacked in sturdiness they did not make up for with flavor. Which I would describe as salt-lick (If you ever had a pet bunny or hamster as a kid, you probably know exactly what I'm talking about with that one) with an oddly sweet aftertaste. I guess the moral of this story is, if it seems to good to be true then it probably is.  And that, my friends, is really the only point to this whole post. 

Also, did you hear that Clay Aiken is running for Congress? I read that on Yahoo News this morning while I was being "productive" at work. And I don't even know what to say except….no. 

**I would just like to mention for the record, that I attempted to salvage the tortilla/crepe debacle by covering them with ice-cream. Yep, still bad. And that is the true test. 

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Nesting is a bitch.

It really, really is. It is an evil, in-your-face, has a handful of your weave and won't let it go biatch. I used to hear the term "nesting" and envision some cute little pregnant lady stenciling her nursery or buying cute throw pillows for the living room couch. But it is So. Much. Worse than that. Coming home from a 10 hour shift in the office, what I really want to do is eat a stack of oreos and put my cankles up make a simple, healthy dinner and fall asleep early. On my days off...I want to get my relax on: play with my blog, watch crappy TV and enjoy the last few weeks of being responsible for no one but myself (okay, and Travis. He is a husband so clearly somewhat needy- love you babe! Lol) What my psychotic nesting-brain dictates, unfortunately, is another story completely.

Let me elaborate: one of my first nesting issues came about after spending an unpardonable amount of time online tracking down the absolute perfect pink and gray ruffled crib skirt. (Because once I learned that crib skirts are a "thing" you better believe I became obsessed with finding the most perfect crib skirt ever made, ever.) Turns out the most-perfect-crib-skirt-ever-made costs 150 buckaroos. This mama is not spending that kind of scratch on an outfit for a piece of furniture. Here's where the pregnancy hormones really take over: "Make your own!" my nesting-brain says. "It'll be fun!" So, off to Joann's in the middle of rush hour traffic, because obviously the project must be started immediately. And 10 back-aching, not-fun hours of pinning/stitching/ruffling/screwing up and starting over later I had myself a frilly little crib skirt. The results were actually pretty gratifying. But...10 hours, you guys! And then I decided I really must make a coordinating window valance. And there was just enough fabric left for a pillow....Exhausting, I tell you.

Aaaand then my mother in law came over for a visit. She suggested we do some antiquing, which somehow ended up giving birth to a whole other weird obsession: milk glass. I makes me "WTF" too. But the thing is, our initial venture produced the cutest little antique wall cabinet for the nursery. And I decided such a pretty cabinet needed a couple pretty knick-knacks, and that those "knick-knacks" specifically had to be little decorative boxes made of milk glass. Had to be. Nothing else would do (and it seemed so reasonable at the time!)  There went another weekend as I scrutinized every last inch of just about every antique store within driving distance, managing to find not one, but two lovely milk glass boxes (for the win.)  I'm actually shaking my head as I type this, because I'm pretty sure I've been body-snatched, and that there is now an alien living inside my head.

Of course, on top of all my little "projects," the nursery had to be painted (the previous owners apparently thought fluorescent blue -with cow accents, mind you!- made a stellar room color choice...just, no.) the furniture assembled, the carseat chosen and on ad infinitum.

But now that we're nearly ready for our little one (and the pantry has been organized and the carpet cleaner called and the baseboards scrubbed and the master bedroom re-done) I think I can finally chill for a few minutes and gain some perspective. And maybe take a breath and catch up on The Bachelor, dammit. are you guys doing? Lol

Oh and btw, if you happen to find yourself with 10 or so spare hours and wanting to make your own crib skirt, here is the awesome tutorial I used for inspiration:

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Adios 2013! You were a good year!

Okay, I'll admit it. It feels pretty weird to be sitting at home on a New Year's Eve hanging out in pj's with just the hubby and this here little blog o' mine, instead of having a wild night on the town involving too many drinks and probable inappropriateness. But that's where I am in life at the moment…and I'm okay with that. For now. Next year? There may very well be a good amount of drinking and inappropriateness. You know, if we can find a reliable babysitter. Lol

Since there's not much else on the agenda for this evening, I figure it's as good a time as any to take a look at some of my favorite memories from the last year!

Memories like...

- Having an ambulance partner who finds amazing eateries like the Best Little Porkhouse in San Rafael (with evil BBQ sauce for the win! Lol)

- Hanging out at the fair with my bestie's adorable mini-me...

- Florida Georgia Line concert (complete with crazy middle-aged women trying desperately 
to get the bands attention. No, I don't mean us! Lol)

- Seeing an actual "shaggin wagon." Is it totally creepy that this made my list?? LOL

- Girl's trip to Reno…so much fun!

- Actually getting the hubby out for a rare hike at Armstrong Redwoods

- Russian River Mud Run (because sometimes you just have to get dirty. While wearing waterproof
mascara of course!)

- A week in Vegas for my Brother in Law's wedding at Mandalay Bay :-)

- A friend's wedding (where my husband showed off his amazing beer "skills" and I mistakenly thought I could still do 5" heels while prego, and paid the price by limping on swollen feet for 3 days afterwards…lol)

Cheers, 2013! You were a pretty good year!

Monday, December 30, 2013

Oh God. Not the drill.

So I had planned to do a little Christmas catching-up on the blog this weekend. But my mouth, apparently, had other ideas. 

See, I'm a habitual dentist-avoider. I know, I know…it's a character flaw, and what follows is probably my own fault. But I brush and I floss and generally -in the interest of self preservation- I see no reason to subject myself to these sorts of horrifying scenarios…!

Right?? Well, my avoidance caught up with me Saturday when one of my molars became infected. (For the record, I do not recommend a dental abscess. Possibly the worst thing ever!)  I spent most of Saturday and all of Sunday laying on the couch attempting not to move. Or swallow. Or breathe. I knew I was in a bad way when I couldn't muster the effort to yell at the TV during Sunday afternoon football...or to care about the pan of dark chocolate sea-salt fudge languishing in the fridge. (Btw, did I mention I tested negative for gestational diabetes?? Thank the good Lord!) 

Anyhoo, while we're on the topic, can someone please, please explain to me why these types of unexpected events always seem to happen on a weekend when all the dentists are apparently out getting trashed on PBR and playing mini-golf?? (Or maybe that's just what I'd be doing if I'd had my hands in people's disgusting mouths for 5 straight days Lol.) But seriously.

Fortunately I made it to this morning and was able to get an appointment with a very understanding and non-scary dentist who gave me a prescription for Amoxicillin. Along with some bad news….

Yep. Looks like I'll be ringing in the New Year at the endodontist, having my very first -and hopefully last- root canal. Wish me luck (and may we all have less painful adventures in 2014)!!  

Friday, December 20, 2013


Well, now I've done it. Or rather, blogger has done it.

I thought a little was in order around these parts since I've been away for so long. I thought it would be a good idea to sort through my reading list and delete those blogs those have gone private or closed down in the last few months. Apparently Blogger took offense to that. And deleted my entire list of blog subscriptions.

Yes...yes, Blogger did. So now I have to somehow get this prego-brain in gear (not an easy task!) and attempt to recall the names of all 50+ of my very favorite, must-have-it-in-my-feed blogs (Not to mention a handful of new-to-me blogs I've fallen in love with this week!) In the meantime, feel free to help a sister out and leave your awesome blog links in the comment section!!

And if you happen to be thinking to yourself, "what kind of loser doesn't already use Bloglovin or Feedly or an actual legitimate blog reader??"  Point taken. lol

Wednesday, December 18, 2013


*Follow my blog with Bloglovin*

One of the problems that comes with being away from the blog world for so long (and if you're a blogger you know darn well 5 months equals like 10 blog-years!) is ending up with a lot of really important unanswered questions.

Questions like: "Are boot socks still a thing this winter?"  and "When the heck does the new season of the Bachelor actually start?" (I know, I know there's a ton of previews on...but how's a girl supposed to notice silly things like dates while being distracted by Juan Pablo??)

Life changing stuff, right?!

And speaking of life changing, I'm headed for a big one...

Back in March, after months of trying to conceive and good old Aunt Flow continuing to drop by on the regular (like a complete bish), Travis and I started Kaiser's infertility program: attending special classes and having a full spectrum of tests. Which found no issue with either of us. Which actually stressed me out more. I wanted to know what the issue was, so we could figure out how to fix it! In the midst of studying for Anatomy finals and working full time, the stress got to me and I decided I needed a mental and emotional break from blood tests and ovulation kits.  And lo' and behold, in June, the magic happened.

Given my AMA (that's Advanced Maternal Age, btw...nothing like the wonderful world of medical labels to give a girl -or should I say decrepit old lady- a good ego boost!) I've been fortunate to make it just shy of 7 months feeling great! There have been a few road bumps: a partial placenta previa (move placenta, move!), every prego lady's friend anemia and I may or may not have failed my one-hour glucose test last week. Shocking really, as I consider myself to have been in training for a test like that since my bestie and I were 7 and started blowing all our allowance on Pixie Stix and Sugar Babies at the corner store. (Oh God. There is a Reese's peanut butter cup literally staring at me -and taunting me- as I type this. The guilt!)

So far, the life changes have been minimal, and mostly work related: going from the fun stuff like working vehicle accidents... (I guess I'm using the term "working" somewhat loosely here, as I am apparently the only one not doing a lot of "work" on this scene...that's awkward.)

Dear Partner, if you're reading this please don't hate me for posting a picture of your butt!

 And doing some tractor modeling…

(Not a routine part of the job, btw. But it IS what happens when your ambulance gets a flat tire in the actual middle of nowhere and you have to wait 8 or so hours for a tow truck.)

...To working a desk, which has apparently released my inner post-it whore. Who knew?

Tomorrow morning I have my 3 hour glucose test to determine whether I have gestational diabetes. Giving up cookies and fudge at Christmas?? Now THAT's a big life change.  :-)

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Blog, I just can't quit you.

5 months ago I shut down Blogger one day and just…didn't look back. I stopped writing, stopped taking pictures, stopped reading -not just one or two- but ALL my favorite blogs….cold turkey. I'm not really sure what happened: I hadn't been consciously feeling like I needed a break from the blog world  and since this is only a small, personal "just for funzies" deal, it's not like I was under any kind of pressure other than what comes naturally with being a crazeballs type-A perfectionist.

So I went about all the other parts of my life and focused on other things. But at some point, to quote my dad's oh-so-eloquent colloquialism "you have to sh*t or get off the pot." In order to do that, I suppose you have to ask yourself why you do something like this in the first place…why you put your heart and so much of your time into something like a blog.  Until today I wasn't ready to ask myself those questions...wasn't sure if I'd ever come back here, or even completely sure that this little blog still existed out in the Interwebs.

You know what I decided today, just now in fact? I really have missed this little place. I've missed all of you and reading about your adventures. (I was so disappointed to see some of the faves from my reading list also seem to be on an extended blog-cation. But hey, I get it!) I decided that it's perfectly okay not to have an end-game here. It's okay to not be -or even care about being- the biggest, baddest, money making-est blogger on the block. It's okay to do me.

See you guys soon!

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